San Francisco is always a good idea!

So this will go down in history as the best idea my husband has ever had.

While laying in bed one night soon after our first follow up appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist, listening to me cry over the excruciatingly long timeline for our frozen embryo transfer, my husband brilliantly says "lets take a trip- lets go to San Francisco!" At that moment my sniffling stopped, looked up at him and said, "really?" and seconds later  I was on my phone looking at all of our airline apps to see which airlines we had enough points with to book the flight! 

Next up was calling my roommate from college, Kelly, who just so happened to move there 5 years ago and just so happens to have a spare bedroom. 

The trip came together quickly but we had to wait to book until aunt flow arrived so I could have my follow up appointments completed, blood draw and sonohysterogram -I only mention this because i want to document that all looked good and we were given the go ahead for our Frozen Embryo Transfer at next cycle - HOORAYY! But this post is not about my infertility, it's going to be about SF. See life still can happen even when 99.5% of the time you are only thinking about making babies. (that sounds kinky, but its not.. my baby is a science baby, made with love and SCIENCE!) 

After some minor inconveniences with our flight we arrived in SF at 2 AM on Friday and proceeded to hit the hay at Kellys!

Friday AM we actually made it out the door before 8:30 AM. Yay me, I'm still really not even sure how I pulled off dragging Eddie out of bed. Kelly lives in Russian Hill which is a great central location, we were able to walk to the Embarcadero where we had a trip scheduled to Alcatraz at 10 AM.  We stopped for breakfast at a cute bfast place 8 AM. 

Avocado Toast 3 Ways, paired with the yummiest fruit. We haven't quit hit yummy fruit season on the east coast so this lil bowl of fruit made my morning. 

The only downside of the weekend was RAIN. It was literally 70s and sunny the week before we got there. But I knew rain was in our future all weekend so we didn't let it get us down!

Ferry over and touring Alcatraz....

After our tour was over we headed on back to the mainland and decided on some lunch. We made our way to Brixton in the Marina . Then walked around the Marina for some shopping and coffee @ Wrecking Ball. I mean I had to get a pic in front of this wallpaper!!!

But lets talk about what transpired before this picture... I ordered my mocha in a pretty little "for here" cup knowing full well I wanted to get a pic with it in front of this Pineapple Wall. Drink comes I pull it up to my face smile for the camera then BAM. Mocha down, all over my only pair of leggings I brought for the trip! #fail. 

I somehow convinced Eddie we needed to stop in Lululemon for a backup pair of leggings. #score

Which brings me to lulu leggings - this is my first pair and holy cow where have these been all my life. I got the High Times full on, and holy suck in. I've read there is a pilling issue, so the jury's still out with last ability. Good thing lulu has the best exchange policy ever. 

Once Kelly got out of work we met her back at her place to get ready for the night out.

Can we talk about this view from her apartment? NO that is not us photo shopped in there! 

Our first nights dinner did not disappoint! They brought us to Tosca, and it was heavenly. We ordered 2 orders of the Chicken dish. Which I would eat every day for the rest of my life if I could. It takes about an hour to prepare so if you go order it right away!

Us prior to devouring our chicken... what not all of your husbands carry clutches out at night?! ;)

The night ended with lots of cocktails and bouncing around the city. 

Day 2 started with brunch at Original Joe's SF. YUM. we then made our way over to AT&T Stadium so Eddie could see the park. It was pretty neat and I wouldn't hate if Fenway was surrounded by water. Looks like a really awesome place to catch a game or just watch from one of the nearby bars.

 Now its right after noon time so we feel its appropriate to get a wine tasting in @ Bluxome Street Winery. A few drinks later and we are on way to a boozy SF day of fun.

At this point we are brainstorming our next food break. With so many options in this city it was a bit overwhelming for me, loving food the way I do.. ha. 

We decided on Mexican but we weren't quite ready yet so we headed over to the Haight for some cocktails at Alembic. 

Our last full day, damn that went quick.. we headed over to Sonoma. The weather looked promising as we crossed the Golden Gate!

Our first up and only outdoor tasting was at Gloria Ferrer. Which just so happened to be our cheapest since Visa Signature members get free tastings.. just an FYI :) 

Second up Jacuzzie, where you could taste wine, olive oil & shop! I loved the Olive Oil tastings here at the Oil Press. Wine was equally delicious, we ended our visit with port in chocolate "shot" glasses.

Last up Imagery & Benzinger, sister wineries. We ended up becoming members at Imagery and I'm already dreaming of our first shipment in April, however, on second thought I HOPE I can't drink it!

and that my friends, was the result of the best idea my husband has ever had.

Staying occupied: Bedroom Update!

So there are a TON of projects I want to get done prior to bringing home our baby to this house. I am making the best of this in between waiting time to start on these projects. Hey make lemonade out of lemons right?! I have some more months on my hands to get these things done! 

A few weeks ago we finally starting tackling our bedroom. We live in a small cape house so our ceilings are slanted on the upstairs of our house. This makes room arranging very difficult! 

When we moved into the house we had the room flip flopped so our bed was facing the window vs underneath it. And with this set up every morning when I woke up I banged my head on that damn ceiling getting out of bed. So for about a year I talked about switching the room around and FINALLY Eddie agreed to the project!

And since we were moving things around, we might as well paint right?!

Lighting is awful in these pics. Still using my iphone camera for everything even though I purchased a fancy new DSLR a few months ago! 

So here's the progression:

Paint: Benjamin Moore Cashmere Gray... has a green undertone as you can see!

Now that we had the bed under the window we needed a headboard so we headed to the Boston Interiors warehouse sale and picked up this tufted beauty!!! 

But still I was not finished! That gross blind had to go! I loved the look of the wood plantation like shutter blinds so we got some affordable faux wood blinds from Home Depot

Next up! Walk in closet redo!! 

The Shittiest post ever

I've been putting off opening up this blog for the past week. The fact that I had already started my 5 week bump update post makes me cringe. CRINGE. because I only made it to 6 weeks before the baby just stopped growing so there's that. Well at least I never hit publish.. I really don't want to have to look at that post again. I will share this picture... 

So what happened.. I'm currently waiting for that answer. Praying it was chromosomal and not me. If its chromosomal I get to have the reassurance that our baby really wasn't meant to be. If its something with me, then man, we have a lot more problems than I thought. We should find out by today.. so I've been on pins and needles all week. 

This IVF cycle was text book for me, I felt GREAT the whole time, barely minded the shots. Now I miss those damn shots. The day of my egg transfer I had acupuncture done then again a week letter, to really send the message home to my body. At the second appointment my acupuncturist said, wow you are SO lucky to have this worked your first try, text book! And as the weeks progressed I really kept thinking about how lucky we really were, too lucky. Part of me just had a gut feeling. I got through Christmas sober (no easy feat as we went away to NH skiing with my family) skiing without Apres.. is it even skiing at all? Luckily there wasn't any snow so that made life a little easier. Because man do I love a good Apres. 

We planned a trip to Park City Utah for New Years with my brother to ski. The day before the trip I was able to get into my RE for my 7 week ultrasound, I was SO happy to get this done prior to getting on a plane to set my mind at ease. At this appointment we were going to even get to hear the heartbeat. 

I settled into the usual position, had Eddie snap a pic, and you know what, in my head I said to myself, well this picture is going to be awful if we find out the baby didn't make it. See that gut feeling, creeping back in. Always trust the gut.

The ultrasound tech found the yolk sac showed us the baby all looked good but then she measured and she said just about 6 weeks. But wait that's a week behind, we should be 7 weeks.. man I have to wait another week for everything. weird.. These are all my thoughts. To think I was worried that I was going to have to wait an extra week to meet my baby. When really I should've been thinking... we did IVF the baby's "weeks/days" are down to a science, legit science, there is no way he should be measuring a week behind, that means somethings not right. 

But still that didn't hit me, we went back to the waiting room to wait for our RE. Oh did I mention it was the first sloppy snow of the season on this day. So our RE was running behind, we were the first appointment that morning. When we finally sat down with him the first words out of his mouth were I'm sorry, then it was slow motion from there. He said the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and would not be progressing. I cant really remember a whole lot more from that convo, it wasn't very long. I did know that I had a trip plan to Utah in less than 24 hours. What the heck was I going to do. Well per the RE's suggestion we continued the progesterone shots so my body wouldn't miscarry while I was away. Makes sense, so we continued those damn butt shots every day while in Utah and I didn't miscarry there, thank god (gotta find the silver linings). But let me tell you, nothing made me more angry than continuing those stupid shots when they were all for nothing. We made the best of Utah, I really did let myself have a good time there and drinks were plentiful, putting life on hold back in New England.

Proving that I did enjoy my drinks while in Utah! :)

The story gets worse. And I keep asking myself is this real life? We got back from Utah on Tuesday early AM - i'm talking 2 AM. We walk into a freezing cold house. Heats broken, awesome. we go to bed anyway because we need to sleep, we had to be up at 6 AM to get out the door and head to our follow up ultrasound to confirm the baby is still not growing, a formality before my scheduled D&C.

Eddie followed me in his car to the appointment, but I didn't make it very far before getting into a 3 car accident on the highway. Seriously I can't make this up!

I wish I took a picture of my face, which face planted the steering wheel. And you know what I said when the a EMT came, I'M PREGNANT, but wait I'm actually not. Well luckily Eddie was close behind and helped get through the police questions and EMT checks. We decided we could still make it to our appointment. So we drove on, and received the confirmation that in fact our baby was not going to make it. We were more prepared this time with questions, and Eddie was really good at making sure we got them all asked. 

So the D&C happened  a week ago  on Thursday January 7th, its been ROUGH. A very emotional week. I'm finally starting to feel OK emotionally and pain wise. My nose is finally not swollen anymore and my black eye went away so that helps too. Talk about a LOT to process in a week. 

So there's that. I had a successful blissfully ignorant IVF cycle for up to 6 weeks. 

What's next? Well we wait. It could take up to 6 weeks or so until I get my period again. Then assuming my body checks out we will start the process for our Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET). We are SO lucky to have 4 frozen embryos waiting for us.  And I really hope our doctor recommends that we implant 2 this time. I just don't know if I can go through this again or go through a failed FET. With the 2 embryos it will up our chances, and of course up our chances of having multiples as well. But hell the negative Nancy in the back of my brain keeps creeping in.. what if those little embabies don't survive the thaw??!! god I can't let myself think those thoughts. not now. 

But hey, its a 3 day we weekend, and I'm still alive. things could be much worse.

XO